EDIT: Thanks to kevshindig, the answer key is HERE.

Horrible Turn is a fan made prequel to Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog. Here's part one of ten:

Richard has really been into the Beatles lately – listening to their music, watching their movies, even watching the cheesy old Beatles cartoons. So, this morning I popped in this movie…

As I've commented any number of times in the past, I'm a regular blood donor. They call me to remind me every two months, since there's a high demand for my blood. (Imagine the fun anyone who gets my blood must have.) Anyway, they called me earlier this week to ask if I'd be willing to try Apheresis, a process where I just donate platelets rather than whole blood. This type of donation can be done more frequently than regular whole blood donations, and apparently just getting my blood every two months isn't enough for the Red Cross anymore. They're hooked, and they want more.

I went in this morning, and went through the usual routine (health questions, blood pressure check, etc.) before they took me over to the apheresis area. Since apheresis takes longer (they take the blood out of your body, remove the bits they want, and then put the rest back in again) they let you watch a movie while you're donating (since you can't do much else – there's a needle in both of your arms, one for inflow and one for outflow). Each donor had their own DVD player with headphones. I looked through the box and DVDs and chose The Producers (the new one, based on the Broadway musical). I picked that one because I wanted to choose a movie I already knew well, and owned a copy of, on the assumption that I might not be in the donor center long enough to watch the whole movie there.

I was momentarily amused by the notion that the Red Cross might have included a couple of musicals in the box as a subtle test. Since they don't accept donations from homosexuals,¹ would they be monitoring which men chose the DVDs with the show tunes? (If that were true, I probably would have been shown the door immediately if I'd picked All That Jazz.)

Anyway, the donation didn't happen, and not because of my choice of movies (as far as I know). I usually donate from my left arm because I'm right-handed, and because there have been a couple of times in the past when the phlebotomist has had trouble finding a vein in my right arm. (The ones in my left arm jump up and shout "Pick me! Pick me!") Well, apheresis is normally done with a needle in both arms, so they started with my right arm… and apparently the needle couldn't find the haystack. Two of them tried (ouch!) and failed. My right arm has stealth veins.

That was it for today. Apparently, they'd made the most attempts they allowed to make or something, because I was allowed to get up and leave (not without grabbing free cookies on my way to the door, mind you!) They didn't want me to be discouraged, however, because they really really want my platelets. (You know, it's almost creepy when you think about it.) They want me to come back another time and they'll try a different method. I agreed; because hey, it can't hurt to try, right? (I mean, apart from the needles. Duh.)

I'm already worried about how disappointed they're going to be if get another tattoo next year, and then (by their own rules) won't be able to donate anything for twelve months. I'll bet they break into my kitchen and boil a rabbit.

¹I do not wish to debate this in my LJ. I already know it's a point of contention for some of you.

It's too late for me to have reported this on Sunday's "National Go Topless Day", but apparently there was an off-Broadway play called Boobs! The Musical. The only parts online seem to be an MP3 of The Finale and one YouTube video called "The Dingy Song" below. (Lyrics may be NSFW.)

It's been a while since our cast (whose name and composition has varied over the years, but is currently the Transylvanian Concubines of Fairfax, VA) has done a preshow at a convention, due to time constraints, lack of motivation, or simply not enough cast members in attendance. Q and I only attended the Saturday afternoon portion of the last convention (Atlantic City, 2008) at the last minute; and, if I recall correctly, the two of us were the only members of our cast to attend the Chicago convention in 2006 (and so on, and so on). We decided that we wanted to do something new and different; it wasn't simply enough to do one of our preshows that hadn't been seen on the national level yet (although we do want to show off our First Nudie Preshow sometime), we wanted to create something brand new for the occasion.

Q had the idea of making a musical (I thought we should have called it a "rock opera") about the old Rocky Horror newsgroup on usenet (alt.cult-movies.rocky-horror). We brainstormed on topics – I insisted that one of the songs had to be "The Next Rocky Horror", about Repo!, Showgirls, et al., for instance – and then Q wrote most of the songs with her band Glasgow Tunnel (Tim and Katy) with additional lyrics and vocals by Σοφωκλεσ and Skanky. (I offered some additional input, which was occasionally even used; but only played a minor part in the audio production since I can't sing or play an instrument.)

Once the music was finished, recorded, mixed, and edited, it was my turn to get serious. I produced the list of all off-topic obituaries ever posted to the newgroup (one of the many issues that rent the group) which Q assembled (from Google image searches) in chronological order; she also assembled the other montages. (We made a long list of movies that qualified as "the next Rocky Horror", but couldn't fit all of them. Many, like Priscilla, Queen of the Desert, got left out; but I insisted that Batman had to stay. The convention montage was made entirely from pictures I took at previous conventions.) I created all of the animations for the computer startup sequence, the desktop, and all of the fake inside-joke newsgroup posts. My utility, Allah Sulu's Massive Tool, played a large part in the animation process (and was plugged in the animation).

We rehearsed it a bit at home in Maryland, and in our room at the convention; but some of the performance still consisted of on-the-spot ad libs (like my decision to stick balloons in my shirt so that I'd have huge fake boobs for the verse about Showgirls. I spend about fifteen minutes combing the floor of the convention hall looking for two balloons that were the same size and shape. Cosmo wondered what the hell I was doing, but I didn't explain.) Since the whole thing was so inside-jokey, we expected it to go over many peoples' heads, and only appeal to the old timers – we were all pleasantly shocked by how well it was received. Flush with success, Q wants to write a real, full-length musical now.

( YouTube Videos! )

( Pictures and Captions! )

On Saturday Saturday afternoon (16 May 2009) at the Celluloid Jam convention in Cincinnati (actually, it was over the line into Kentucky; but that's still considered part of "Greater Cincinnati" just as some people consider Rhode Island and New Hampshire to be suburbs of Boston), there was a showing of the 1974 Brian De Palma movie Phantom of the Paradise with a live floorshow cast. There were three movies performed with a live cast that weekend; the others being Shock Treatment and, of course, The Rocky Horror Picture Show. I don't usually perform in movie floorshows at conventions (as I mentioned earlier, I have thus far never actually performed in Rocky Horror at a Rocky Horror convention), but a number of people (including Q) told me that I had to play the part of Arnold Philbin. I applied for, and got, the part; I'm always keen to try something new. One of the reasons I never perform in Rocky Horror at conventions – in fact, I rarely even watch it at conventions – is because I've seen it so many bloody times and played every single part in it (including several of the inanimate objects). Rocky Horror conventions always end with a showing of The Rocky Horror Picture Show, which I find boring and anticlimactic, and I generally find somewhere else to be. But I digress. Anyway, I got the part, so I had to learn it (not easy, since I've never been that fond of Phantom of the Paradise so I didn't know it nearly as well as certain other people to whom I'm married) and assemble the costumes (for which Q did the lion's share of the work – every time someone at the con complimented me on my costumes, I told them that she gets the credit). Anyway, for a second-tier character, Philbin has an awful lot of costume changes. Three pairs of pants, four jackets, and God only knows how many shirts (along with shorts, a bishop outfit, scarves, etc.) that he mixes and matches into a different combination in every scene. (I decided not to even bother trying to keep up with the different pairs of shoes and boots he wore; a couple of times I was out on stage in my socks because I didn't even have time to get shoes back on at all.) Seriously, the man has more costume changes than Frank-N-Furter, often with less time in which to do them. (Out of the entire Phantom cast, I think only bmajors had more changes than me – plus, she also had make-up to worry about. Seriously, let's all give her a hand.) I had a couple of sheets of paper with me listing which clothes I wore in each scene, in order; but it was dark backstage so I couldn't read the bloody thing. Anyway, there was a lot of running around, quick changes, occasional let entrances, and a whole lot of stress – and I loved it. I was so freaking happy once it was over, but I loved it. And once the show was over, I took the bag of Philbin costumes (and Q's bag of Swan costumes) and stuffed them in the trunk of my car (rather than go all the way around the building to get from the convention hall to our room, there was actually a quicker short cut through the parking lot outside) so there would be less packing to do Sunday morning. Anyway, I didn't get any pictures of the Phantom of the Paradise show (what with being in it), though I got a few pictures of the rehearsal (which are at the top, here) Saturday morning. Below the cut are (for my personal reference) a series of photos from a variety of con-goers, all cropped and resized into a consistent 800x600 resolution, and in chronological order of the show from start to finish (best as I can remember). I don't have the con program with me, so I can't place names to all of the faces, but I will identify at least where each of the photos came from.

( Tasty, Winslow, Tasty )

There's a huge picture dump HERE.