October 9th, 2002

Allah Sulu-South Park

War! What's It Good for? Absolutely Nothing!

ares_dot_com, the "War God", is getting uppity again. Poor baby just has issues with me and people are talking... Doesn't matter, soon he'll be busy over in Iraq and we'll have a brief break from his whining. I doubt he'll be sated by Persian Gulf II, however; that conflict ought to be finished in one quick shot before the attack's barely begun (much like Ares' love-for-hire) ... In wartime, Iraqis surrender to anything moving, even a half-dead camel (in peacetime, it's the other way around. Talk to bacchus_dot_com's flock of sheep if you don't know what I mean...)

What really gripes Ares and so many other oh-so-very-old-ones is the realization that their day has long since come and gone. I am the future. Soon, I shall reshape the world in my image. Homo sapiens will be replaced by homo blotto. After all, wars are never started by jovial drunks. Drunks cannot operate heavy machinery like tanks and B-52 bombers. Drunks don't discriminate; they love everyone and anyone, never feeling regret until they sober up the next morning. In my world, people will never sober up and all will be peace and joy.

The sheep will be much safer, too.

(Further comments in pantheon_dot_co)