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Friday, January 2nd, 2004
The Top 16 Surprising Hangover Cures
- Mom setting the bed on fire always worked wonders for me.
- I don't know. I try to never get that sober.
- Telling the gang that you've got to turn in early to get up for work tomorrow. This is also an effective cure for saving money and warding off STDs.
- Have sex with Britney Spears. It doesn't really work, but what the hell? You're still having sex with Britney Spears.
- Roll over and look what you dragged home last night.
- Hair of the cat. If you survive pulling THAT out, your prior aches and pains will seem as nothing.
- Cure? Who wants a cure? Gimme another double.
- Consume half a pound of fresh wasabi. It'll certainly distract you from your throbbing *head*.
- A clown hammer. A clown hammer can fix ANYTHING.
- Sleep through Wednesday. Added bonus: also a "Humpday" cure.
- Hair of the dog brush... mixed right into that lying, cheating, b%#&ard's pancakes.
- Theoretically, drinking in moderation; although that has never actually been tried in the field.
- The sudden realization that it's two weeks after the party, you're in a hotel where all the signs are in Hindi, and all you're wearing is a sombrero and mukluks.
- Reindeer urine. Heck, it works for Santa every year!
- Tomato juice, raw eggs and Froot Loops. It may not cure the hangover, but your technicolor puke will be universally admired.
and the Number 1 Surprising Hangover Cure...
- Chrono-syncopation and displacement. (Wait a day.)
(But don't tell Satan that I helped you out...)
|Sock Puppets SING!
As I've amply demonstrated my complete lack of singing ability via Phone Posts in recent days, I imposed upon my wife to perform my latest creation. You can find it here