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Friday, January 2nd, 2004

Time Event
9:21a
From TopFive.Com
The Top 16 Surprising Hangover Cures

16.
Mom setting the bed on fire always worked wonders for me.
15.
I don't know. I try to never get that sober.
14.
Telling the gang that you've got to turn in early to get up for work tomorrow. This is also an effective cure for saving money and warding off STDs.
13.
Have sex with Britney Spears. It doesn't really work, but what the hell? You're still having sex with Britney Spears.
12.
Roll over and look what you dragged home last night.
11.
Hair of the cat. If you survive pulling THAT out, your prior aches and pains will seem as nothing.
10.
Cure? Who wants a cure? Gimme another double.
9.
Consume half a pound of fresh wasabi. It'll certainly distract you from your throbbing *head*.
8.
A clown hammer. A clown hammer can fix ANYTHING.
7.
Sleep through Wednesday. Added bonus: also a "Humpday" cure.
6.
Hair of the dog brush... mixed right into that lying, cheating, b%#&ard's pancakes.
5.
Theoretically, drinking in moderation; although that has never actually been tried in the field.
4.
The sudden realization that it's two weeks after the party, you're in a hotel where all the signs are in Hindi, and all you're wearing is a sombrero and mukluks.
3.
Reindeer urine. Heck, it works for Santa every year!
2.
Tomato juice, raw eggs and Froot Loops. It may not cure the hangover, but your technicolor puke will be universally admired.

and the Number 1 Surprising Hangover Cure...

1.
Chrono-syncopation and displacement. (Wait a day.)

(But don't tell Satan that I helped you out...)

9:40a
11:05a
Sock Puppets SING!
As I've amply demonstrated my complete lack of singing ability via Phone Posts in recent days, I imposed upon my wife to perform my latest creation. You can find it here.

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