"Running Mates", from The New Yorker.
OK, now that the other parties have had their conventions, it's time for the Party Party to hold ours.
Who should be my Vice Presidential running mate?
allah_sulu - So that everyone else is also seeing double.
ares_dot_com - To ensure that nothing is ever agreed on or accomplished. Gridlock forever!
bradwinkle - Bull Moose worked for Teddy Roosevelt, right?
darkmattr - To garner the dark vote. Dark matter is 98% of the Universe.
ducttapeavenger - Served in Afghanistan, expert on the all-powerful duct tape, great sandwiches.
gwiii - My evil twin. Think about that concept.
j_brew - He'd enjoy the roller coaster polls and economy...
ninkasi_dot_com - Liquor before beer, never fear!
hat_madigan - She's already my stunning mate.
whattafool - It'll be a close election. We'll win by an angry inch.