October 14th, 2004

Allah Sulu-South Park

No, It's Probably The Antlers

(Excerpts from debate transcripts, showing questions and answers of Allah Sulu):
    sethcohen asked: "Will your campaign song be 'Now you're a man' from the Orgazmo soundtrack?
Unfortunately, negotiations with Trey Parker to use that song, and to write another verse ("Now you're a moose") for my running mate, broke down. One of my advisors recommended that I come up with the new verse myself, being something of a lyricist, and that we use the song anyway. I reminded him of various precedents, including Sam & Dave objecting to the Dole campaign's use of "Soul Man" in 1996. The last thing I want to do is piss of Trey Parker; he'd probably write a special episode of South Park where I get married to Barbara Streisand or something equally evil. Instead, we will continue to use my vodka carols in our commercials and public appearances.
    enderwiggins asked: "If the entire continent of North America were cut out, independent of topography, where would its center of mass be?"
Michael Moore.
    jennae asked: "What is the official position of the evil vampire cheerleaders?"
They start out in a pyramid, with the ones on top waving their pom poms and the ones on the bottom gorging themselves upon the blood of the losing team (which they vomit back up immediately -- even evil vampire cheerleaders are concerned for their figures). Eventually, the pyramid collapses, as the ones on top also want to sink their fangs into some victims, and the evil vampire cheerleaders roll around in the mud, wrestling, tearing each others' flimsy uniforms, until... Umm... Err... What was the question again? Let me check the secret, unauthorized communications device under my – Ooops.