April 7th, 2005

Allah Sulu-South Park

New And Improved, With More Soylent Green!

Many of you use </a></b></a> to generate customized user tags like so: </a></b></a>.

Some of you, however, can't use my program because it requires Windows; and you're on a Mac or Linux system ... Or you're just paranoid security-minded enough not to want to download an executable from an obvious freak like myself.

If that's the case, then check out my new creation - A web page that will show you my icon library and generate HTML tag code for you with a simple chunk of Javascript.

It doesn't have all of the features of </a></b></a>; but then, my tool isn't for everybody.

Oh, You're No Fun Any More!

          A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife.  She was a very good-looking woman, and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching.  She decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand.
          Two men applied for the job.  One was gay, and the other a drunk.  She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk.
          He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching.  For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well.
          Then one day, the rancher's widow said to the hired hand, "You have done a really good job, and the ranch looks great.  You should go into town and kick up your heels."
          The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night.  One o'clock came, however, and he didn't return.  Two o'clock, and still no hired hand.
          He returned around two-thirty; and upon entering the room, he found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him.
          She quietly called him over to her.  "Unbutton my blouse and take it off," she said.
          Trembling, he did as she directed.
          "Now take off my boots."
          He did as she asked, ever so slowly.
          "Now take off my socks."
          He removed each gently and placed them carefully by her boots.
          "Now take off my skirt."
          He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire light.
          "Now take off my bra."
          Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told and dropped it to the floor.
          "Now," she said, "take off my panties."
          By the light of the fire, he slowly pulled them down and off.
          Then she looked at him Collapse )