December 1st, 2005


Splish Splash CRASH

          Last weekend I nearly killed myself while trying to take a shower.  (You'd think I would have been more careful, since the book I was in the middle of at the time was a collection of </a></b></a>darwin Awards.)  I'm not sure how it happened.  We were visiting my parents-in-law for a long (almost a week) Thanksgiving weekend, but I've been there before and used the shower there before.  It's actually a bathrub, with a shower nozzle above and no rubber safety shower mat thingy below.
          I was washing my hair when I somehow slipped and lost my balance.  As the universe dropped into slow-motion mode, and I fell through the shower curtain unable to grab anything or stop myself, a single thought went through my head:  "This is going to suck."
          I hit the toilet hard enough to move it a couple of inches out of place; the marks on my back from that impact are still visible.  My head crashed into the tile wall opposite the shower with great force.  A single loud four-letter word escaped my lips, and then I started an inventory of my various limbs and organs to see what was still working.  Amazingly, I didn't break anything; and I'm still surprised that neither my skull nor the wall tiles was cracked by the impact.  I did get a bump and a headache, and was stiff and sore for a couple of days thereafter.
          </a></b></a> was directly on the other side of the wall I hit.  She heard the impact, curse, and then silence; and came running in expecting me to be dead.  After getting over the disappointment, she helped me up and checked me for concussion.  I still had a shower to finish, but she was worried that I might fall again, and stayed to help wash my back and make sure I didn't keel over.
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