Say the following questions aloud,2 and press play.
Use the song title as the answer to the question.
- How does the world see me? Fig, "She Said She Didn't Love Me Anymore"
The world hates me. Big surprise.
- Will I have a happy life? Tim Curry, "Baby Love"
My son certainly makes me happy.
- What do my friends really think of me? William Shatner, "Common People"
- Do people secretly lust after me? Q&A, "The USS Murgatroid Theme Song"
Ummm, that's a parody of the "Love Boat" theme, is that good?
- How can I make myself happy? "Arkham, Dunwich" from "The Shoggoth on the Roof"
So, I can make myself happy through dealings with malevolent Elder Gods. Cool.
- What should I do with my life? Kirk, Mark, and Lopez; "Saddam Thumping"3
I should spend my life beating Saddam Hussein? I hear he sucks at Paper, Rock, Scissors; but he also cheats.
- Will I ever have children? Kirk, Mark, and Lopez; "Baseball Fever"
So, as long as I think about baseball at the crucial moment, I won't have any [further] children. Or I'll be rendered sterile by a fever.
- What is some good advice for me? Mirrors on Shoes, "LiveJournal"
- How will I be remembered? Tom Lehrer, "I Got It From Agnes"
I'll be remembered for spreading VD? Great.
- What is my signature dancing song? Veggie Tales, "Promised Land"4
- What do I think my current theme song is? "The Droids of Tatooine" from "Star Wars: The Musical"
- What does everyone else think my current theme song is? Tim Curry, "Brontosaurus"
- What song will play at my funeral? Tom Lehrer, "When You Are Old and Gray"
Hmm, that one kinda fits, I suppose...
- What type of men/women do you like? Meatloaf, "Rock and Roll Dreams Come Through"
- What is your day going to be like? Q&A,5 "Call It Black (The Internet Newsgroup Song)"
1I just used the Windows Media Player, and whatever MP3s I have in "My Music" and its subdirectories (which is quite a lot, actually).
2I really don't think that "aloud" is necessary, though it's certainly "allowed".
3Kirk, Mark, and (the late) Lopez are/were the morning crew on Baltimore's 98 Rock; and the song is a parody of Chumbawumba's "Tubthumper" from one of their old albums (in the late 90s, when Bill Clinton was warning us all about Saddam's WMDs, bombing Iraq, and calling for regime change).
4A cover, actually, by a rock band whose name is not encoded in the MP3. Oops.
5The two "Q&A" songs on this list were written by me and recorded by my wife.