May 31st, 2006

Geek

I Haven't Seen X3 Yet, But ...

Professor X (Charles Xavier):
I assume you're wondering why I called you all here today?
Magneto (Eric Lensherr):
Especially me, yes.
Professor X:
This pertains to all of us, Eric.  You see, they've just discovered the cure for Mutism!

[Astonished mutterings... rhubarb! cabbage! rhubarb!]

Professor X:
It's true!  We can get cured of our bizarre mutations and live normal lives like regular people.  Cyclops, you'll finally be able to take off those goggles.
Cyclops:
Hot damn!
Professor X:
Rogue, you'll finally be able to touch boys without them… y'know… dying.
Rogue:
Oh wow!
Professor X:
Eric, you can stop being Jewish.
Magneto:
What??  Charles, that's not my mutant power.
Professor X:
What's your mutant power?
Magneto:
I'm the master of magnetism!  I can command anything metal!
Professor X:
Oh.  Well, yes.  I guess I always thought that was just, y'know… just something you did.  Isn't "Magneto" that cracker-bread that you people eat?
Magneto:
Matzoh?
Professor X:
Ah!  That's it!
Magneto: (sotto voce)
Oy, you're such an idiot!
Professor X:
And Wolverine, finally you'll be able to… to… oh.
Wolverine:
Yeah.  "Oh."  Retracting adamantium claws without the healing factor?  Gee… thanks.
Professor X:
Well, we'll find something fun for you to do too.  Maybe we can all go have a beer afterwards.

EDIT: Apparently written by gillen