March 21st, 2008


Mock Band

The game Rock Band has very low standards, at least on the easy setting. In fact, even for an "easy setting", it still has unbelievably low standards.

I started out playing cowbell for "Don't Fear The Reaper" by Blue Öyster Cult while Q handled the vocals and the guitar; but she was having trouble concentrating on both tasks simultaneously, so I decided to give the singing a go.

If you've never heard me try to sing, then you have to understand that I could not carry a tune if it had handles. I sing in the key of "off". The government should subsidize me and pay me not to sing. Yet, on my first try ("Enter Sandman" by Metallica), I scored 97% (beating Q's 93% on guitar). On "Tom Sawyer" by Rush, we each hit 99%. I had similar success singing Kiss, The Police, The Who, and a couple more before my throat gave out (but even croaking and coughing, I was scoring in the nineties).

That just ain't right.