May 29th, 2008

Yo Momma

Raiders of the Lost Ark

theferrett  You can only truly appreciate the miracle of filmmaking that is Raiders when you realize that in the end, Indiana's completely useless. If Indiana had never interfered in the Nazi's plans, you know what would have happened? They would have found it, brought the Ark to the secret island, opened it, and had their faces melted. Nothing would have changed. The sole contribution of Indiana Jones, aside from killing a lot of random Nazis along the way and saving Marion Ravenwood's life, is that at the end the ark is collected by the U.S. Government. That's it. Really.
zoetheIf everything had gone more smoothly they might have felt more comfortable with the Ark and brought it straight to Hitler. Which would have ended WWII with a bang as the entire German headquarters of the Nazi empire was obliterated in a shower of fire and explosions, destroying Hitler and all his cronies.
theferrett Indiana Jones: directly responsible for dragging out World War II. Thanks a fuckin' lot, Indy.