March 13th, 2011

Allah Sulu-South Park

Spring Forward

So, Daylight Savings Time starts in March now, instead of April. I must have missed a memo. Normally, every year (well, twice a year, actually) you get tons of warnings from all over the place before it's time to adjust your clocks an hour. I'm used to seeing it on news sites, on LJ, and just as a PS in people's email. Absolutely nobody mentioned it this time around, so I was taken by surprise this morning. Fortunately, smart appliances (like my cell phone, which I also use for an alarm clock, and my PC) are smart enough to update themselves; so I left the house this morning at 6:30 to make a platelet donation to the Red Cross.

Got into my car, and saw that it was only 5:30 according to the dashboard.

So, I had to go back into the house and double check to see what the actual time in my slice of the world was. After resolving that, I got back in the car and drove to my appointment… Where the doors to the building were still locked because someone there hadn't gotten the memo either. A phlebotomist was in the lobby waiting to let people in (of whom there were only two of us, and a third donor arrived two hours later – slowest morning I've ever seen there).

Maybe nobody mentions it anymore because they're tired of repeating the same moldy old jokes and haven't come up with any new ones?


Writer's Block: It Came From Planet Claire

If you discovered a new planet, what would you name it?

Yuggoth. However, there are rules for the naming of planets, so the name chosen by the discoverer is not necessarily the "official" name. The dwarf planet Eris was originally referred to as "Xena" by the team which discovered her. The International Astronomical Union gave her the boring, temporary designation of 2003 UB313; and other names were considered before Eris became official.

As the Cthulhu Mythos are not considered a "real" mythology (until the day that the stars are right, and then those fools will learn the errors of their ways!!) my choices would be rather limited. So, since I have to choose a character from an actual, historical mythology, one which hasn't already been used in astronomy (as far as I know), my choice would be Anansi.

I Do

The Wedding Ring

A man had to go to the hospital to have his wedding ring cut off of his penis. (It happens.) His mistress had found the ring in his pants pocket while he was asleep, and got so mad at him that she stuck it onto him.

Poll #1717512 Do you have Prince Albert in a can?

Which is worse?

Having your mistress find out that you're married (and commit revenge in this way).
Explaining to your wife, and the ER staff, how your wedding ring got onto your penis.
Finding out that your penis fits through your wedding ring.

(I haven't done a poll in a while, so…)