April 6th, 2012

Allah Sulu-South Park

News You Can't Use

News24 — Muslims in the Central Asian nation of Kazakhstan are up in arms at a vodka producer for including the word "Allah" on its liquor bottles. Privately owned Channel 31 cited Bekzat Boranbaiuly, head imam at a mosque in the city of Semey, as saying the vodka maker should seek forgiveness for the blasphemous use of the sentence "The Power of Allah Suffices for All"…

Chill out, dudes. They're weren't talking about your Allah, they were talking about me.

The Smoking Gun — An Indiana man had his scrotum severely torn when his “on-again, off-again” girlfriend entered his home and pummeled him in an attack that resulted in the woman’s arrest on several criminal charges, including two felonies. … A cop reported that the man had blood on his shirt and “a long wide tear on his scrotum,” which had been “completely torn loose from his body.” …

I'll spare you the gruesome details, but I do have to point out that the man was treated at Ball Memorial Hospital. Honest.